


Stay

by whatsupbitches (Larkin)



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Cuckolding, Cunnilingus, F/M, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 22:37:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13086858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larkin/pseuds/whatsupbitches
Summary: Glenn wants to leave the show. Rob and Kaitlin are annoyed with him. The three of them work out their feelings in a threesome.





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [haemophilus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/haemophilus/gifts).



> this doesn't represent me

**Glenn**  
  
Rob and Kaitlin are pissed off at him. They’re not being dicks to him or anything; that’s not their way. And they deny it, of course, when asked outright. “Sorry, man, I’m just tired,” says Rob. “If I were mad at you, believe me, you’d know,” says Kaitlin, and they all laugh, but none of it is true. Rob and Kaitlin might be too conflict-averse to tell Glenn they’re upset, but Glenn can tell, he can always tell.  
   
On the other hand, the three of them have the hot tub to themselves, courtesy of some Sunny superfan who works at the hotel. They might as well at least pretend to have a good time.  
  
“Well,” says Glenn, stepping into the water, “that could have gone better.”  
  
“It’s Vulturefest, dude,” says Rob, who’s already submerged. “You knew they were gonna bring it up.”  
  
“What was I supposed to say?” Glenn snaps, pausing halfway down the steps. The water is too hot; he doesn’t want to get in all the way. “I don’t _know_ if I’m coming back. I literally don’t know! Why is that so hard for everyone to understand?”  
  
“You don’t need to explain it to me, dude.” Rob does sound tired.  
  
Kaitlin walks up to the tub with a towel around her waist. “Wasn’t it cool of the fest to put us up in a hotel?” she says. “Do you think they don’t know we already live in LA?”  
   
“No one tell them,” says Rob. “Let’s bleed those suckers dry.”  
  
Kaitlin drops the towel. She’s wearing a bikini. Glenn is touched that she’s comfortable enough to do that in front of him; he knows she’s self-conscious these days about her stretch marks, and about the (ounce of) pregnancy weight that never quite went away. But in Glenn’s eyes she’s never looked so beautiful as she does now, all radiant and golden and sweet-smiling as she lowers herself gracefully into the burbling water.  
  
She laughs. “Getting into a hot tub always feels like peeing your pants, doesn’t it?”  
   
“Not if you do it naked.” Rob scoots over to his wife and slides an arm around her. (And what an arm it is.) It’s a casual gesture, perhaps not even a conscious one, and Glenn is briefly seized with something like loneliness.  
   
“I have a nude scene,” says Glenn. “In the _AP Bio_ pilot.”  
  
Why is he bringing this up? He can see Rob and Kaitlin deflate at the mere mention of _AP Bio_. Still, they play along. (They’re such good sports, it’s never satisfying to pick a fight with them.)  
  
“You have a nude scene on a network sitcom?” says Rob.  
   
“A shower scene,” says Glenn. “But I had to get fully nude for it. They covered up my dick with a flesh-colored cock sock, so no one on set had to see it.”  
  
“Yeah, God forbid,” says Kaitlin.  
   
There was a time when this conversation would have felt flirty. Hell, there was a time when having a hot tub to themselves would have automatically led to sex. It doesn’t feel like that long ago, that intense year when Rob got fat and discovered he was into cucking; Glenn can still picture the frantic way Rob jacked off while watching him fuck Kaitlin. But that was, shit, six years ago. Now there’s a certain distance between Glenn and the Rob-Kaitlin unit. Glenn hates it, hates feeling like he’s on the outside of something, even as he knows he was the one who pulled away.  
  
“For your information,” says Glenn, inching his way deeper into the water, “they all _begged_ to see my dick. I had to fight them off. It’s a problem I have everywhere I go.”  
  
This is what he does: whenever he senses he’s being perceived as an asshole, he plays it up, performs the role of a stuck-up narcissist so that it becomes a joke and distracts from the underlying truth that he _is_ a stuck-up narcissist. He wants his own show. God help him, he wants his own show _and_ he wants Rob and Kaitlin to keep liking him _and_ he wants to fuck them right now, both of them at once in the hot tub. He’s always wanted too much at once, so much more than he deserves.  
  
“Seeing my dick is a privilege,” he continues, because apparently he can’t stop. He’s in the water up to his neck now and he’s lightheaded from the heat. “This is a Juilliard dick we’re talking about, you know.”  
  
Someone’s hand is on his thigh. Kaitlin’s hand. Mistaking his thigh for Rob’s thigh?  
  
Then Rob’s hand is on his thigh too.  
   
“Glenn,” says Rob, and his eyes look so sad.  
  
“Yeah?”  
   
“What do we have to do to shut you up right now?”  
  
*  
  
**Kaitlin**  
  
Sometimes Kaitlin wonders if there’s a parallel universe where she ended up with Glenn instead of Rob. She discusses this with Rob sometimes, because they tell each other everything, and also because Rob kind of gets off on the idea. “If Glenn hadn’t been so paranoid about shitting where he ate,” Rob told her once, “he totally would have gone for it. You’d be married to him now.”

“And I’d have been the most miserable wife in Hollywood,” she shot back. “We’re too similar—we’d drive each other crazy. I think it’s because I’m a Leo and he’s an Aries.”  
  
“But I’m an Aries too,” said Rob. “Me and Glenn have practically the same birthday.”  
  
“Yeah, but Glenn is an _Aries_ Aries.”  
  
She remembers that conversation now in the hot tub, feeling Rob’s eyes on her as she kisses Glenn. She’s hyperaware of how hot she must look right now, her limbs all shimmery wet with pool water, her breasts pressed into rare cleavage by the tight bikini and Glenn’s hands. She’s aware, too, that Glenn is thinking about how hot he himself must look right now with Rob’s hot wife in his lap—that he’s wishing there were more people here to see him fondle her tits. She knows beyond a doubt that this is what Glenn is thinking. They’ve always been too similar.  
  
Rob’s voice beside them is strangled with arousal: “You guys look so fucking hot right now.” And Kaitlin could swear she feels Glenn’s dick harden under her at the mere words. He’s so damn easy and Rob doesn’t even know it; Rob just thinks Kaitlin and Glenn are hot together.  
  
Rob is so generous it’s almost obnoxious sometimes.  
  
Kaitlin pulls back from the kiss and turns to Rob. “Babe,” she says. “Should we take this asshole back to our hotel room?”  
  
“Please,” says Glenn.  
  
“I don’t know,” says Rob, though his face is lit up with desire. “Do you think he deserves your pussy?”  
  
“He never deserved my pussy,” says Kaitlin, reaching down to feel Glenn’s cock. It _is_ hard. “We always gave him more than he deserved.”  
  
Rob hesitates, and Kaitlin regrets violating the basic “yes and” rule. Rob has never been great at improv, not like her and the others; she shouldn’t have thrown him that challenge. To give him more to work with, she adds, “But I wouldn’t mind using his dick for one more night.”  
  
“Use my dick,” Glenn moans. “Please.”  
  
“Yeah, okay,” says Rob, smiling so his eyes crinkle. They haven’t done this in so long. “Should we, uh…” Rob stands awkwardly in the water. “Like, now?”  
  
The three of them clamber out of the hot tub and run, barefoot and shivering and laughing, all the way back to Rob and Kaitlin’s room.  
  
This is Kaitlin’s favorite part: the part when both men turn to her, waiting for her to take charge, and it’s her turn to be director and producer and star all at once.  
  
“On your knees, bitch,” says Kaitlin.  
  
Glenn drops to his knees. She can see his eyes go heavy-lidded with the pleasure of being ordered around; he always prefers to follow someone else’s script and directions, he told her once. She gets it: she’s an actress too. (It’s something they’ve talked about before, the three of them. Rob could do anything, be anything at all—a policeman, a bricklayer, a dog trainer—and still be happy; Kaitlin and Glenn have to be performers or they’ll die.)  
  
She hooks her thumbs in her bikini panties and lets them fall to her ankles. “Eat me out,” she instructs Glenn. To Rob, she beckons with a finger; she wants him to kiss her as Glenn kneels on the floor between them. Rob wraps his arms around her shoulders, warming her up, and his familiar warm mouth kisses hers just as Glenn’s tongue touches her pussy.  
  
It’s funny how differently Rob and Glenn eat pussy; she could distinguish them blindfolded. Rob is so enthusiastic, and he doesn’t have much in the way of technique, but his tongue is shaped just right and usually makes her come fast. Glenn’s style, on the other hand, she’d describe as…pointier. He takes his time, uses his fingers, works his way carefully around her clit with a pride of workmanship that’s almost selfish. Even when giving head, he just has to show off.  
  
“Is this good?” he mumbles now into her pussy.  
  
“I didn’t tell you to stop,” says Kaitlin. Rob laughs, and Glenn resumes licking with such chagrined obedience that Kaitlin feels sorry. She places a hand on Glenn’s head and runs her fingers through his hair. “You’re doing real good,” she says softly.  
  
He moans into her pussy, and Kaitlin twitches with a surge of pleasure and maybe something like love. They’ve been through so much together, the three of them. Rob is the love of her life, she loves him generously and heroically, but she loves Glenn the way she loves herself—irritably, selfishly, sometimes not at all. She grips his hair tighter.  
  
“Can you be good for us, dude?” she asks, bucking her hips against his face. “Can you be good for me and Rob?”  
  
Glenn, lost in Kaitlin’s pussy, murmurs something like “So good.”  
  
“I need you to do something for me,” says Kaitlin. “Close your eyes.” Sometimes genius ideas just pop into her head, and she has to see them through. She steps away from Rob and Glenn, rummages through her jewelry case on the bedside table, and pulls out a choker—the black velvet choker Rob gave her for her birthday. It’s trendy but not quite her style. It would look great, though, on Glenn.  
  
She returns and wraps it around Glenn’s neck. It fits him, just barely, on the last clasp.  
  
Still on his knees, Glenn touches the velvet at his throat, gives a snort of laughter. “Did you just _collar_ me?” he says, opening his eyes. “We’re doing this, huh?”  
  
Kaitlin grabs his hair again and yanks his head upward so she can stare him down. His face is shiny-wet from eating her out.  
  
“When you’re wearing the collar,” says Kaitlin, “you will call me _ma’am_. Is that clear?”  
  
“Yes, ma’am.”

And Glenn fucking _loves_ this, is the thing. She knew he would, knows he’d go even farther if she pushed for it: whips, restraints, a dildo in the ass. It’s not Rob’s thing, so they’ve never gone there before. Even the collar is new. But tonight is different and Rob is looking at Kaitlin like she’s a goddamn goddess.  
  
“Should I call you ma’am, too?” says Rob.  
  
“No,” says Kaitlin. “Glenn will call you _sir_.” She sits on the slick hotel bedspread, spreads her legs. “Glenn, I want your dick now. Ask my husband for permission to fuck me.”  
  
This is a new dynamic, and Glenn sounds almost shy as he asks Rob, “May I fuck your beautiful wife, sir?”  
  
“Only if I can watch,” says Rob.  
  
Nailed it.   
  
*  
  
**Rob**  
  
This is how it always ought to be: Kaitlin sprawled on her back, her blond hair all loose and tangled across the mattress like mermaid hair, her legs wrapped around Glenn’s waist; and Glenn fucking into her, his hard dick thrusting in and out of her impossibly wet hole, impossibly wet sounds squelching from between her legs and squeaking from her mouth; and Rob himself kneeling on the bed beside them as he jacks himself, watching, wanting, worshiping. Oh, Christ, his wife is so fucking gorgeous. Oh, fuck, he loves her so much. What a blessing to share this happiness with his best friend, to show Glenn how special Kaitlin is.

Why can’t it always be this simple? Why can’t it always be this sweet?

Kaitlin’s hand fumbles toward his and he clasps it in his own, kisses it.  
  
“Come closer, babe,” says Kaitlin. “I want to make out with you while Glenn fucks me.”  
  
Rob crawls forward on the bed to kiss his wife, and when he dips his head down he makes accidental eye contact with Glenn.  
  
In the past, Rob has always avoided looking Glenn in the eye during cucking scenes. He’s not embarrassed or anything. It’s just that Glenn _wants_ so much—he’s always wanted so much more than Rob can give him, than anyone can give him—and Rob gets exhausted by the sheer force of Glenn’s want.  
  
Rob’s not a complicated guy, really. He likes what he likes: energy drinks, skiing, baseball, fucking his wife, watching other dudes fuck his wife. Give him those things, and he’s a happy man. Who could ask for anything more?  
  
Well, Glenn could.  
  
And it’s not like Rob has a problem with Glenn being bi, or Glenn’s history of “doing stuff with dudes,” or whatever Glenn wants to call it. Actually, Rob wishes he were bi too. Twice as much fun, right? And maybe it would make Glenn happy.

Maybe it would make Glenn stay.  
  
Silently, still holding Glenn’s gaze, Rob rises to his knees, edges forward. His dick is hard in his hand. His dick is very close to Glenn’s face.  
  
Glenn doesn’t stop fucking Kaitlin. Glenn doesn’t take his eyes off Rob’s face. Glenn opens his mouth, flicks out his tongue, lightly licks the head of Rob’s cock.

Shit, that _does_ feel good.

“May I suck your dick, sir?” says Glenn.  
  
“Yeah,” says Rob. “Yes. Please.”

Glenn opens his mouth wider, closes his lips around Rob’s cock. Rob lets him. Lets Glenn swirl his tongue around the head, lick up and down the shaft to get it all wet, take Rob deep down his throat. Glenn is sucking Rob’s dick. Glenn sucks a good dick, who knew?  
  
So Rob is getting a blowjob from his best friend. Rob’s best friend is collared and blowing him and also fucking his wife, and Rob has one hand in Glenn’s hair and the other hand squeezing Kaitlin’s hand, and Kaitlin is squealing the hottest little squeals as she gets fucked, and Glenn’s mouth is warm and wet and tight and Glenn is looking Rob right in the eye with Rob’s cock down his throat. Rob wonders whether Glenn will swallow, and the idea of Glenn swallowing Rob’s cum is so hot that Rob’s hips buck faster, he’s fucking Glenn’s mouth, he’s about to come in his best friend’s mouth…  
  
“I’m close, man,” Rob gasps out.  
  
Glenn hums encouragingly around Rob’s dick.  
  
“Jizz in his mouth!” Kaitlin yells.  
  
And with that, Rob comes hard—“Oh, _fuck_ ”—in Glenn’s mouth.  
  
Rob pulls out; he can see Glenn’s throat working as he swallows. Then Glenn, too, speeds up, fucking faster and faster into Kaitlin—who cries out with her umpteenth orgasm—until, with a grunt, he goes still.  
  
For a moment the three of them just lie together in a tangled heap on the mattress, a silent sweaty pile of slippery limp limbs.  
  
Kaitlin breaks the silence. “That was _awesome_ , right? High five, dude!” She high-fives Rob first, and then Glenn; then Rob and Glenn high-five each other.  
  
“I should deal with this condom before it falls off,” says Glenn, but he doesn’t move.  
  
“I’ll do it,” says Kaitlin. “I have to pee now or I’ll get a UTI.” Carefully, Glenn hands her the used condom. The two men admire her ass as she walks naked into the bathroom.  
  
“Hey, Rob,” says Glenn. “Your wife is hot.”  
  
“I know,” says Rob. Impulsively, he adds, “You’re hot, too.”  
  
Glenn looks surprised. It takes him a second to reply, “I know.” And then, a second later, “Thanks.”  
  
For what? Rob wonders. For the compliment? For letting him fuck Rob’s wife? For letting him suck Rob’s dick?  
  
“For everything,” says Glenn, reading Rob’s mind. They can do that with each other, sometimes.  
  
_For everything._  
  
Something cracks inside Rob. He rolls over, right into the wet spot, to be closer to his friend.  
  
“Glenn,” says Rob. “Please stay.”  
  
Glenn is staring at the ceiling. He doesn’t reply.

He's still wearing the collar.

From the bathroom comes Kaitlin’s sunny voice. “So what do you want to do now?”


End file.
